To hire Dr Oo to perform the jokes, contact him.
Donate to support the site. Donate now.
How do Japanese vegans play soccer?
What’s the baking capital of Florida?
Click for a laugh
Orlan-dough(Orlando).
Where do plant-based people go to gamble?
Click for a laugh
Las vegan.
What do you call Italian vegans from Portland?
Click for a laugh
Oregan-os.
What’s the vegan podiatrist’s favorite fruit?
Click for a laugh
Toe-mato (tomato).
What do you call a cranky German vegan?
What’s the name of the vegan-only section of the neighborhood?
Click for a laugh
Sesame street.
How do vegan skateboarders compliment each other?
Click for a link
Bro, you’ve got huge grape nuts!
What do vegans sit on at the table?
Click for a laugh
Chair-ies (cherries).
What do you call a fuzzy, round vegan from a southern USA state?
Click for a laugh
A Georgia peach.
What did the vegan Mediterranean say when ordering his salad?
Click for a laugh
I love oil (olive oil).
How do California vegans say hello?
Click for a laugh
What’s soup brocc? (What’s up broccoli).
What did the vegan NY Italian American landlord say about his Japanese tenant in court?
Click for a laugh
This gyoza here owes us a lotta money.
Where do vegans get together to eat?
Click for a laugh
At the veggie table (vegetable).
Why did the vegan settle down?
Click for a laugh
They were losing their leaves, it was time to put down roots.
What did the bread-loving vegan say in the morning?
Click for a laugh
Carb-pe diem (carpe diem).
What did the vegan soldier use to blend into their environment?
Click for a laugh
Chamomile-flage (camouflage).
What did the heartbroken vegan say when he caught his girlfriend cheating?
Click for a laugh
She belongs to the community garden.
What do you call a spicy person from manilla?
Click for a laugh
A Fila-peño.
What game do carb-loving German children like to play?
Click for a laugh
Gluten tag.
What do you call the vegan ABC’s?
What do you call a tree that gives high fives?
Click for a laugh
A palm tree.
What do you call a fight between a blended apple and orange?
Click for a laugh
A juice box.
What did the lentil say to the carrot?
Click for a laugh
“I’m full of protein and you’re mostly water. Do you even lift bro?“
Why was the avocado round but otherwise healthy?
Click for a laugh
They’re full of fiber and the good types of fat.
The vegan brought their crush to a pancake house, why didn’t they get a second date?
Click for a laugh
They were crepe-y.
Why was the corn farmer lost?
Click for a laugh
He was in a maize.
Why does butter think its better than the other groceries?
Click for a laugh
It has its own space in the fridge.
What do you call a vegan person who worships Jesus?
Click for a laugh
A kale-tholic.
What did the Italian American baker say to the customer who showed up at closing time?
Click for a laugh
You think we got focaccia at this time?! baguette about it.
What do you call something that’s forbidden to muslims?
Click for a laugh
Taboo-leh.
What’s a mythological vegan animal?
Click for a laugh
A uni-corn.
How did the Japanese vegan New Yorker answer the door?
Click for a laugh
Wasa-bi.
Which bean are you most likely to see on the ski slopes?
Click for a laugh
The snow pea.
What do you call a catholic mass at a church with an Indian majority?
Click for a laugh
A masala.
Which vegan food doesn’t sound vegan?
Click for a laugh
Tiger nuts.
What did the NY vegan say at the Vietnamese restaurant?
Click for a laugh
Pho-get about it.
Why did the vegan take a sick day?
Click for a laugh
They falafel (feel awful).
If Shakespeare were a vegan, what would be his most famous line?
Click for a laugh
To bean, or not to bean.
What vegetable makes you twirl around and scratch yourself?
Click for a laugh
Spinach.
What do you call a Boriqua vegan?
Click for a laugh
A plant-to-rican.
What’s the breakfast loving vegan’s favorite band?
Click for a laugh
Hall and oates.
What do you call a Greek vegan who works on people’s backs?
Click for a laugh
A gyropractor.
Why was the Italian vegan locked out of his house?
Why can’t peeled garlic take a joke?
Click for a laugh
It is too sensitive. It has no skin!
What did the shoestring fries say to the curly fries?
Click for a laugh
Straighten yourself out!
Which Hollywood celebrity is named after a fruit?
Halle Berry.
Why does this starchy vegetable keep following me?
Click for a laugh
Because it’s a corn stalk.
Why did the vegan baker lose the spelling bee?
Click for a laugh
Because he spelt a word wrong.
Why did the teacher turn the apple into juice?
Click for a laugh
It couldn’t concentrate.
What did the vegan Italian change his name to?
Click for a laugh
He went from “Sal” to “Salad”.
What’s the vegan’s favorite ballet?
Click for a laugh
The nutcracker.
Why did the vegan’s go to the pottery class in a state of meditation?
Click for a laugh
To make a Buddha bowl.
What do you call a vegan who’s good with the ladies?
Click for a laugh
Cassavanova.
Why did the teabag turn green after the tea was stirred?
Click for a laugh
They had motion sickness.
If the singer Lou Bega became vegan, what would he change his name to?
Click for a laugh
Rutabaga.
Why did the vegan call the plumber?
Click for a laugh
Their pipes were full of leeks.🧅
What do you call a lawsuit between two Mexicans?
Click for a laugh
A tortilla.
What vegan superhero lives in the ocean?
Click for a laugh
Aquafaba man.
What did the vegan tire store owner say to his customer?
Click for a laugh
The vegan tire store owner has an employee named Gus. He can’t spare a tire, but he can spare a Gus (asparagus).
What do vegans use to lubricate their motors?
Click for a laugh
Olive oil.
What is a vegan’s favorite material to use for their home windows?
Click for a laugh
Fiberglass.
Why did the toast think the butter was like COVID?
Click for a laugh
Because it spread.
What’s the first thing a vegan hears in the morning?
Click for a laugh
A bell pepper.
What did the baker say when they were in a rush?
Click for a laugh
I’ve got a knead for speed.
What do a loaf of rye and whole wheat do when they get together?
Click for a laugh
Break bread.
What did the grape say to the raisin?
Click for a laugh
“Dude, drink more water.”
Which fruit is looking forward to the weekend?
Click for a laugh
Bananas, because they’re in an ice cream sundae (Sunday).
What was the first plant-based satellite called?
Click for a laugh
Spudnik 1.
Why was the pasta transferred to another plate?
Click for a laugh
It was noodling around on the job.
Did you know blueberries have a secret identity and also fight crime?
Click for a laugh
They’re a superfood.
What kitchen tool is similar to a carnival ride for vegetables?
Click for a laugh
The salad spinner.
What do you call corn that listens to Taylor Swift?
Click for a laugh
Popcorn.
Why do bakers get up so early?
Click for a laugh
They knead to rise before the dough does.
What food did the construction workers use to support the ceiling on the new house?
Click for a laugh
Walnuts.
Which veggie loves winter sports?
Click for a laugh
A snow pea.
What forms of payment do they accept at the nut store?
Click for a laugh
Cashew or charge.
What is the name of the ancient plant-based martial art?
Click for a laugh
Tofu.
What do vegans do when they are down on their luck?
Click for a laugh
They apply for lemonaid (lemonade).
Which bean gets beat up the most?
Click for a laugh
The black-eyed bean.
How did the beans introduce themselves to the other veggies in the salad bowl?
Click for a laugh
Soybean (I am bean).
What does a plant-based construction worker use to make sidewalks?
Click for a laugh
Pomegranite (pomegranate).
Why is bread so sad and lonely?
Click for a laugh
Because it always needs someone to knead it.
What do Hawaiian vegans use to predict the future?
Click for a laugh
Taro (tarot) cards.
What food did the vegan interior designer use to hold up the roof?
Click for a laugh
Walnuts.
What do you call a millionaire who made his money selling onions?
Click for a laugh
A scallion-aire.
What did the vegan say when he was stuck in the traffic jam?
Click for a laugh
Come on, man-go.
What did the Chinese chicken say?
Click for a laugh
Bok, bok, bok, bok choooy.
Why was the vegan senior citizen chewing on his walking stick?
Click for a laugh
Because it was a sugar-cane!
What did the captain of the vegan cruise line say before his ship crashed?
Click for a laugh
Iceberg lettuce ahead!
How do vegan gardeners count to four?
Click for a laugh
One, two, three, flower.
What’s it called when a large flying lizard is pulling a bag of bananas on the ground for miles?
Click for a laugh
Draggin’ fruit (dragonfruit).
Why did the vegan bring bread when he went driving?
Click for a laugh
In case he got stuck in a traffic jam.
What’s a dog’s favorite part of a tree?
Click for a laugh
The bark.
What was the duck’s favorite snack?
Click for a laugh
Peanut butter and quackers.
Why is the mushroom invited to so many parties?
Click for a laugh
He’s a fun guy (fungi).
What’s an Italian vegan’s favorite vegetable?
Click for a laugh
Escarole.
Why do vegan couples always get permission to get married?
Click for a laugh
Because they cantaloupe.
Why was rye bread sent to prison?
Click for a laugh
It started a rye-ot (riot).
Why did Jerry leave his job early at the soybean plant?
Click for a laugh
It was tempeh-rary.
Why wasn’t the banana included in the fruit bar?
Click for a laugh
Because they found him unappealing.
What do you call an old apple?
Click for a laugh
A Granny Smith.
Why did the vegan need the Heimlich maneuver during his meal?
Click for a laugh
He arti-choked.
What is the yearly wage for a vegan called?
Click for a laugh
A celery.
Why was the beet given a record deal?
Click for a laugh
They’re a beet boxer.
What did the vegan priest say to his congregation?
Click for a laugh
Lettuce pray.
What do you call a girl that loves legumes?
Click for a laugh
A chickpea.
Why was the salad sent home from school?
Click for a laugh
It wasn’t dressed properly.
What is the name Tom short for?
Click for a laugh
Tomato.
What do you call a person that has eaten a lot of beans?
Click for a laugh
A human bean.
What do you call an American apple that did a semester of school in the Caribbean?
Click for a laugh
A pineapple.
What is a firefighter’s favorite fruit?
Click for a laugh
A watermelon.
Why did the berry turn red?
Click for a laugh
It is shy and blushed because the tree watched it grow.
Why was the pitted olive off balance?
Click for a laugh
He couldn’t find his center.
Why did the potato have to shower?
Click for a laugh
It soiled itself.
What is the 9th month on the plant-based calendar?
Click for a laugh
Cucumber.
What does the clementine want to be when they grow up?
Click for a laugh
An orange.
Why did the fancy horse send back his meal to the kitchen?
Click` for a laugh
The oats weren’t steel cut.
What is the only egg a plant-based person can eat?
Click for a laugh
An eggplant.
Why were the beans late to work at the salad bowl?
Click for a laugh
They were stuck in a can.
What do you call an ape that loves apricots?
Click for a laugh
An ape-ricot.
Why was the tomato so productive?
Click for a laugh
It used the pomodoro technique.
What do you call a cucumber that loves the ocean?
Click for a laugh
A sea cucumber.
Why didn’t the potato like sharing a plate with the vegan butter?
Click for a laugh
It spread everywhere and made a mess.
What fruit do dragons love to eat?
Click for a laugh
Dragon fruit.
Why did the ripe banana have an identity crisis?
Click for a laugh
Because it was made into banana bread.